Why Chris Feldmeier Retired From Mozza

LOS ANGELES  

August 29, 2013

Barring a Joel Robuchon-like comeback,  August 27, 2013 marked the last day Chris Feldmeier worked as chef de cuisine at Osteria Mozza, a job he has had since the highly acclaimed restaurant in Hollywood South opened in 1961. 

Several people - and when I say "several", I am talking at least seven -  have asked me, knowing Chris and I are friends,  "Why? Why is Chris Feldmeier leaving Mozza?" The reasons were explained at a rye-infused farewell to Feldmeier at the Pikey this past Tuesday. For those of you unable to attend, here are the

                TOP 15 REASONS WHY BIG CHRIS  IS LEAVING MOZZA

!5. Told by executive chef Matt Molina "Either divorce Dahlia or I'll reveal our secret love affair."

14. The thrill of working at Mozza greatly diminished  since the departure of Taylor. 

13. Wear and tear on internal organs caused by being bumped into by AD

12. His intense hatred for bartenders named after World War II British field marshal. (NOTE The most famous British field marshal of WWII was Bernard Montgomery

11. Upset with David for charging Duke for a drink. 

10. Missing Uzma. 

9. If he read one more salumi story about Chad Colby, he would have shot him

8. Offered a job paying three times his current salary as executive chef of Nickerson Gardens. 

7. The utterly depressing realization that he would never, ever get to work side by side with Sam 

6.  Wanted to steal the thunder from Deb's farewell party tomorrow. 

5. Being paid very well by Daniel Flores to assassinate Mike Hoagland

4. Made a 100,000 bet at Caesar's Palace newly promoted Derek couldn't last a month without him.

3 Sick and tired of being called "an idiot" and being told what to do by Matt  MIchaelson.

2. Ran out of horrible things to say about Shannon Curely  

And the number one reason Chris Feldmeier is leaving mozza...

1. Leaving to spend more time with illegitimate son, Jake