Nancy Silverton Has A Cold

Nancy Silverton, holding a glass of Aglianico del Vulture  in one hand and IPhone 6 in the other, stood in a dark corner of the owner's parking lot of Complesso Mozza.  Two young chefs - Ryan Vito DeNicola and Tiffany Fox -  waited for her to say something they could understand, her voice a barely audible slur, like Brando toward the end.   But, she said nothing they could grasp. She had been silent during much of the evening, except now where she seemed even more distant speaking than not, staring out through the semidarkness into the alley where idled her midnight blue Porsche from which Coltane and Tyner joyously engulfed "But Not For Me"  The young chefs knew - as did some of Silverton's employees who stood nearby - that it was a bad idea to force conversation upon her when she was in this mood of sullen silence, a mood as rare as a full moonset during her nine-year reign at Mozza. 

Silverton had been working on a book she could not wait to finish;  she was tired of all the publicity attached to her dating a gang reporter; she was weary of traveling - having hours earlier returned from West Carolina - and stressing on an upcoming trip - a day in D.C and three in N. Y. C.  - before heading to somewhere in the Mid East for a pop up; she was tried of being recognized by strangers who saw her on the PBS show "I'll Have What Phil's Having", and was even concerned that very show could overrun her small Umbrian summer getaway with tourists;, she was tired of getting people reservations;, she so worn out that her body was - so very uncharacteristically  - reacting with ache. Silverton was ill. She was the victim of an ailment so common that most people would consider it trivial. But when it gets to Silverton it can plunge her into a state of disbelief, like the state of confusion a Bengal tiger must have when confined to a cage. Nancy Silverton had a cold.

Silverton with a cold is Picasso without paint, LaFerrari without fuel, Seabiscuit without a racetrack-- only worse. For the common cold robs Silverton of that uninsurable jewel, her voice, cutting into the core of her confidence, and it affects not only her own psyche but also seems to cause a kind of psychosomatic nasal drip within dozens of people who work for her, drink with her, worship her, depend on her for their own welfare and stability. 

Silverton with a cold is cause for concern. Mere mortals get colds and are left to fend for themselves to get through the annoyance. Silverton gets visitors like she has just had open heart surgery. Friends and family - bordering on somber -arrive at her house, some - like writer Margy Rochlin - so shaken they retreat to the back yard to escape the strange sight of a docile Silverton. Her daughter Vanessa Silverton-Peel arrives and glares at me with a "What have you done to my mother?" look. They don't stay long. 

For me, however, Silverton with a cold is a wonderful thing. She stays home this past weekend.  I get food from Chi Spacca on Friday night  ( shoulder lamb shouler chops with Jimmy Nardello peppers and broccolini) and from Pizzeria Mozza on Saturday night ( the new Jimmy Nardello pizza, meatballs and a Trecolre salad) and we dine at home.  And, if anyone needed any proof she was actually sick, I can attest that she passes on the red wine and goes for a diet Dr. Pepper. 

We even watched television together. . I had been hooked on Veena Sud's "the Killing" and was 17 episodes in when Nancy got sick. I weakly offer to start from the beginning, but she says no, If you have ever had to explain a complicated story that is a season and a half in to someone, you will know what i went through. Nancy asked so many question that I stopped the show so much that one 42 minute episode took one hour and 15 minutes. Still, I'd like to tell Veena Sud one day that Sunday night. (possible Spoiler ) as we were going to bed, Nancy said "Looks like Gwen did it." 

So. Nancy Silverton has a cold. When she coughs, - and she coughed so much at a visit to Urgent Care ( near Bogie's Liquors) that her Armenian Greek doctor said her throat looked "like a cobblestone street" - it pains me, too. I lie awake with her.  

So I hope Nancy Silverton gets over this cold. But, not too quickly .  

###

This story is a straight out robbery of a classic piece of journalism by Gay Talese that ran in Esquire. 

Frank Sinatra Has a Cold" ran in April 1966 and became one of the most celebrated magazine stories ever published, a pioneering example of what came to be called New Journalism -- a work of rigorously faithful fact enlivened with the kind of vivid storytelling that had previously been reserved for fiction.

http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a638/esq1003-oct-sinatra-rev/

A 2008 Lakers Team Dinner at Osteria Mozza; "But, the Coolest One was Lamar Odom."

MAY 7, 2008, reprinted from the L.A. Weekly

Around 7:30 on Friday night, the crew at the EZ Lube on Highland and Melrose lined up and started cheering. Three of them pulled out cameras and started taking shots like paparazzi. A fleet of SUVs filled with very tall men had pulled up across the street at Osteria Mozza to have a dinner in the private dining room. Somehow word had leaked out. “My guys were very excited,” said EZ Lube’s manager.

Celebrity sightings at Osteria and Pizzeria Mozza occur almost daily and rarely cause a stir. But this was different. The Lakers were having a team dinner.

“Luke Walton called me and said the team wanted to get together and watch the Jazz-Rockets game,” said John Black, vice president of public relations for the Lakers, who swept the Denver Nuggets in the first round of the NBA Playoffs and wanted to get a good look at their next opponents, either the Utah Jazz or the Houston Rockets. Black, who claims to eat out 350 times a year and is an expert on the Los Angeles restaurant scene, recommended Mozza’s private dining room and made sure a huge flat-screen TV would be available for the team.

Around 8 o’clock, I arrived at the restaurant with Max, 15, a Phoenix Suns follower, and Oliver, 14, a die-hard Lakers fan, who can give you stats on the whole team. Outside, near the parking valet, a kid about 3 feet tall and wearing a Pau Gasol jersey was holding a basketball signed by many of the Lakers. We were at the right place.

Oliver’s mother is Mozza owner Nancy Silverton, so I took Max and Oliver into the private dining room through the kitchen entrance — and there they were, your Los Angeles Lakers. The game was on the screen and you could have heard a linguini drop, it was so quiet. Everyone was studying the game; nobody was talking. Except one guy. Kobe Bryant’s security guard. He came up and "suggested" we leave.. “The Lakers are watching the game.” The guy was about 5 feet 9 — no taller than I am — but with arms like the trunk of the General Grant Christmas tree at Kings Canyon National Park. He wasn’t mean, but he was firm. Max and Oliver gave me a look that said, “Let’s just go.” The Lakers, I explained to the disappointed kids back in the main dining room, were working. Studying.

About five minutes later, the security guy came out and said, “When the game is over, the team would be glad to meet the boys.”

I took the guys to a friend’s house to watch the game, but with the Jazz up by something like 20 points we headed again to Mozza and found ourselves back in the same private dining room we’d been kicked out of an hour before. This time, the bodyguard was a sweetheart and got all of the Lakers, no longer in study mode, to come by and shake Oliver’s and Max’s hands and sign a team picture. Kobe, who got word during dinner that he would likely win this year’s MVP award, was nice. Derek Fisher was nice. But the coolest one was Lamar Odom, who was completely sincere when he was talking to the kids.

When they finished their dinner, the Lakers, who had entered the restaurant silently through a side entrance, left publicly amid the chaos of a packed dining room. The restaurant went still. People couldn’t take their eyes off the team as the players made their exit.

In case you’re wondering, MVP Kobe paid for dinner, and yes, he left an awesome tip.

Watts Sad, Weary and Tense After Nickerson Gardens and Grape Street Homicides

Two years ago, with his South East  High School Jaguars trailing the Huntington Park High School Spartans by 24 points,  then-14-year-old Elijah Galbreath - pulled groin muscle and all -  led his team to a thrilling, come-from-behind victory with four touchdown runs.

This past Sunday, around 2 p.m.,  on 103rd and Grape Street, across the way from Jordan Downs,  Galbreath had no where to run. He had just walked out of Ronnie's Market and was headed home when a car slammed to a halt and a male with a gun exited. Elijah - hemmed in by a large fence, the car and the gunman - surrendered.   He dropped to his knees and put up his hands. The assailant shot him.

Krystal Galbreath, Elijah's sister, was at home in Jordan Downs when someone pounded on her door moments later..

"They just shot your brother," she was told. Krystal ran across 103rd Street and saw her mortally wounded younger brother.  " I went crazy. I just went crazy."  

Elijah was taken to St. Francis Medical Center where he was pronounced dead. 

Roughly two and half hours earlier, a mile-and-a-half away in Nickerson Gardens, another gunman - maybe two - entered those projects through a gate off Imperial Highway west of Success Avenue, saw a target and opened fire. Shot and killed was a beloved lifelong  Watts resident, Clinton "J B" Givens, 39.  

"I was just walking into my home when I heard shots," said a shell-shocked LaTasha Manley, Givens' woman and the mother of his children. "I looked back outside and, and, and there he was." 

"JB's dream was to make sure me and our kids were all right," Manley said as she showed off family photographs. "He wasn't my boyfriend. He was my man."

The two killings have brought a tension and eerie stillness to Watts not felt since  - almost two years to the day - September, 23, 2013, when for rapper Kevin "Flipside" White, 44,  of the Nickersons and Markice "Chiccen" Brider, 29, of Imperial Courts, were shot and killed within minutes of each other, allegedly by Grape Street Crips.  (For more on that check this link  http://www.krikorianwrites.com/blog/2013/9/24/watts-tense-after-2-killings-3-arrested-from-grape-st)

As rough as it is, Nickerson Gardens might have the best sense of humor in town.  But, Tuesday afternoon it was unusually somber, a combination of sadness for JB, concern a street gang battle was looming and a resigned awareness that its fiery past could be so easily rekindled.  At the gym, in the office, in the courtyard where JB died, the animation so prevalent in the projects was gone.

"Senseless, senseless, senseless," said Ronald "Kartoon" Antwine in a powerful Facebook post that drew dozens of agreeing comments.

LAPD's South Bureau Commander Phil Tingirides, who as captain of the Southeast Division was instrumental in developing better-than-ever relations between police and the Watts community - sought to squash fast rumors the killings were part of any Nickerson Gardens Bounty Hunters Bloods against Jordan Downs Grape Street Crips conflict. 

"People are scared, but right now it does not look that way," said Tingirides. "We need to hold off. Fortunately, the community is helping out and we are getting a lot of calls." 

Over on 105th Street, the family of Elijah Galbreath gathered and quietly greeted neighbors, friends. and out-of-town relatives who had flown in from other states to be with them. 

"They killed me when they killed my baby," said Elijah's mother Timeca Person. "They are taking out kids away forever."

When told of the earlier killing in Nickerson Gardens, Elijah's aunt who had flown in from Arizona, expressed shock.

"They haven't learned yet," said Vertrice Dooley, who recalled Elijah as respectful, funny, quick to dance and helpful. "Elijah was kind to everybody. If there were younger kids who needed any kind of help, he was happy to help them."

Mileon James, the football coach at Augustus Hawkins High School where Elijah had  transferred, spoke of the teenager's maturity, talent  and goals.

"He wanted to make his mom and dad proud and be able to get them in a better place," said James, "Elijah had this charisma about him. And he was freakishly athletic." 

Moran Galbreath, 43, Elijah's father, sat on a bench near the family home front door and spoke passionately about his son's death and that of so many other black males.

"This has got to stop." said Galbreath, 43, "We are crying and marching over police killing us, but we are annihilating ourselves. We are steadily destroying our own people."

With a distant gaze, Galbreath proudly talked about that game against Huntington Park High when his son "single-handedly brought his team back"  to a stunning victory.  "He was so determined."

Proud dad recalled the time he took Elijah to see his older brother Daylon who is at Langston University in Oklahoma on a scholarship. 

"Elijah got to work out with his brother and the team there and he turned to me and said 'This is me."

On 103rd a few yards from Grape Street, dozens of "murder candles" were lit in that all-too-familiar site of a fast memorial to the street slain. Moran Galbreath shook his head. "Our kids deserve more than this. Our kids don't deserve to be candles on a corner."  

Clinton "JB" Givens and Latasha manley with their children

Watts Sad, Tense and Weary After Nickerson Gardens and Grape Street Killings

Two years ago, with his South East  High School Jaguars trailing the Huntington Park High School Spartans by 24 points,  then-14-year-old Elijah Galbreath - pulled groin muscle and all -  led his team to a thrilling, come-from-behind victory with four touchdown runs.

This past Sunday, around 2 p.m.,  on 103rd and Grape Street, across the way from Jordan Downs,  Galbreath had no where to run. He had just walked out of Ronnie's Market and was headed home when a car slammed to a halt and a male with a gun exited. Elijah - hemmed in by a large fence, the car and the gunman - surrendered.   He dropped to his knees and put up his hands. The assailant shot him.

Krystal Galbreath, Elijah's sister, was at home in Jordan Downs when someone pounded on her door moments later..

"They just shot your brother," she was told. Krystal ran across 103rd Street and saw her mortally wounded younger brother.  " I went crazy. I just went crazy."  

Elijah was taken to St. Francis Medical Center where he was pronounced dead. 

Roughly two and half hours earlier, a mile-and-a-half away in Nickerson Gardens, another gunman - maybe two - entered those projects through a gate off Imperial Highway west of Success Avenue, saw a target and opened fire. Shot and killed was a beloved lifelong  Watts resident, Clinton "J B" Givens, 39.  

"I was just walking into my home when I heard shots," said a shell-shocked LaTasha Manley, Givens' woman and the mother of his children. "I looked back outside and, and, and there he was." 

"JB's dream was to make sure me and our kids were all right," Manley said as she showed off family photographs. "He wasn't my boyfriend. He was my man."

The two killings have brought a tension and eerie stillness to Watts not felt since  - almost two years to the day - September, 23, 2013, when for rapper Kevin "Flipside" White, 44,  of the Nickersons and Markice "Chiccen" Brider, 29, of Imperial Courts, were shot and killed within minutes of each other, allegedly by Grape Street Crips.  (For more on that check this link  http://www.krikorianwrites.com/blog/2013/9/24/watts-tense-after-2-killings-3-arrested-from-grape-st)

As rough as it is, Nickerson Gardens might have the best sense of humor in town.  But, Tuesday afternoon it was unusually somber, a combination of sadness for JB, concern a street gang battle was looming and a resigned awareness that its fiery past could be so easily rekindled.  At the gym, in the office, in the courtyard where JB died, the animation so prevalent in the projects was gone.

"Senseless, senseless, senseless," said Ronald "Kartoon" Antwine in a powerful Facebook post that drew dozens of agreeing comments.

LAPD's South Bureau Commander Phil Tingirides, who as captain of the Southeast Division was instrumental in developing better-than-ever relations between police and the Watts community - sought to squash fast rumors the killings were part of any Nickerson Gardens Bounty Hunters Bloods against Jordan Downs Grape Street Crips conflict. 

"People are scared, but right now it does not look that way," said Tingirides. "We need to hold off. Fortunately, the community is helping out and we are getting a lot of calls." 

Over on 105th Street, the family of Elijah Galbreath gathered and quietly greeted neighbors, friends. and out-of-town relatives who had flown in from other states to be with them. 

"They killed me when they killed my baby," said Elijah's mother Timeca Person. "They are taking out kids away forever."

When told of the earlier killing in Nickerson Gardens, Elijah's aunt who had flown in from Arizona, expressed shock.

"They haven't learned yet," said Vertrice Dooley, who recalled Elijah as respectful, funny, quick to dance and helpful. "Elijah was kind to everybody. If there were younger kids who needed any kind of help, he was happy to help them."

Mileon James, the football coach at Augustus Hawkins High School where Elijah had  transferred, spoke of the teenager's maturity, talent  and goals.

"He wanted to make his mom and dad proud and be able to get them in a better place," said James, "Elijah had this charisma about him. And he was freakishly athletic." 

Moran Galbreath, 43, Elijah's father, sat on a bench near the family home front door and spoke passionately about his son's death and that of so many other black males.

"This has got to stop." said Galbreath, 43, "We are crying and marching over police killing us, but we are annihilating ourselves. We are steadily destroying our own people."

With a distant gaze, Galbreath proudly talked about that game against Huntington Park High when his son "single-handedly brought his team back"  to a stunning victory.  "He was so determined."

Proud dad recalled the time he took Elijah to see his older brother Daylon who is at Langston University in Oklahoma on a scholarship. 

"Elijah got to work out with his brother and the team there and he turned to me and said 'This is me."

On 103rd a few yards from Grape Street, dozens of "murder candles" were lit in that all-too-familiar site of a fast memorial to the street slain. Moran Galbreath shook his head. "Our kids deserve more than this. Our kids don't deserve to be candles on a corner."  

There was a vigil for Elijah tonight  on 103rd and Grape. There were no television crews. 

Elijah galbreath leans on his grandma

e 

Planned Parenthood Official: "Hunt For Tiffany Fox's Baby Daddy Narrowed Down To 32 Tinder Users."

When veteran Mozza chef Tiffany Fox announced back in March that she was pregnant, her friends excitedly hugged and congratulated her. But, those very friends - as  well as people who only know Fox casually - all had the same thought: "I wonder if she has any idea who the father is?"

Sunday, a spokesman for Planned Parenthood announced that more than 357 Tinder users have been "cleared" of fathering the child, "We have narrowed it down to 32 Tinder users.

Fox, who almost single-handedly (well, maybe double handedly) popularized Tinder  the so-called "naughty quick date" phone application, had often gone on the record saying she had never slept with anyone she meet on the "hook up" app.

However, interviews with friends. motel owners, vice cops all found that hard to believe. Some even disagreed vehemently.

At the "Dare-U-Inn" motel on Hollywood Boulevard near Hobart Avenue, manager  Kim Trac  said he often would see Tiffany "many many time a day. Different men. Sometime boys. Always loud noises in room. Customers complain But, me no get involved."

Sgt. Alison Yates of LAPD's Hollywood Vice, said that Fox was never on their radar as a "working girl" as, in his words. "She did it for free."

"Free?," said one Tinder user who spent time with Fox. "It cost me dinner at Providence. $327. That's not free to me. The fucked up thing about it, was I didn't even get a kiss. After that night, I quit Tindering."

Others, some apparently petrified over news that Fox was pregnant have also distinguished their Tinder application. Since Fox's baby announcement, Tinder membership is down 27%.

While news of the pregnancy was generally well- received, some were disappointed. 

"When I found out Tiffany was pregnant, I was bummed," said Kate Green. "I knew I had to find a new person to drink with."

A woman claiming to be Tiffany's 'BFF" said she couldn't believe it when she heard the news a baby was on the way. "I thought it was some kind of joke," said Tanya Bautista.

Nancy Silverton didn't think it was funny at all. 

"I think when she heard Celeste was pregnant, she went out of her way to make a baby," said Silverton. "She figured with Celeste out, she'd have to work harder, Everyone knows she's lazy. Even at her baby shower, she couldn't even make the pie shells. She bought them from the 99 Cent Store."  

UPDATE - As Krikorian Write was going to press, word came out that one Alfie Lytton, an Englishman who worked briefly at Osteria Mozza, has claimed that he is the father of the baby boy whose name will be J

"Tell those 31 other dudes, those Tinder fools, to go fuck themselves. I'm Tiffany's baby daddy."  

Moruno At L.A. Farmer's Market Becomes First Take-Out Window Ever To Win A Michelin Star

Acknowledging that "To Go" was an integral part of the dining experience not only in America, but the entire planet, Michelin, the world's most prestigious restaurant guide, has finally awarded one of their coveted "stars" to a food take out window.

Winner of the single Michelin is Moruno, a Spanish-themed soon-to-be-actual sit down restaurant that for the time being is offering only take out food at the Farmer's Market, the Los Angeles landmark at Third Street and Fairfax Avenue.

Moruno, which loosely translates to "skewers", opened in July in the southwest corner of the market in the space formerly occupied by Amy Pressman's "Short Order" near Dupar's.  Anxious to get cooking, the owners. David Rosoff and Chris Feldmeier, decided to open a take out window rather than wait for all the permits needed for the full-blown restaurant which is expected to open in the next few months.

Reaction to the Moruno take out window has been overwhelmingly positive.

"I think it is fair to say that when it come to take out windows, Moruno is in a class all by itself," said Michael Ellis, the Michelin Guide's international director. "More than 3.2  billion people a day worldwide order take out, so why should Michelin ignore them. From now. on, thanks to Moruno's lead, we will not."

Though admittedly humbled by the honor, co-owner Rosoff said both he, Feldmeier, sous chef Derek "Der Wreck" McCabe, prep cook Marissa "Two Kitchens",  as well as LSB (Lead Sandwich Bagger) Hector "Prince of Troy" Lopez all suspected a recent customer was, in fact, a Michelin inspector. 

"I have to admit we had an unfair advantage because the inspector was wearing one of those golf shirts you see guys wearing at company conventions and it had the Michelin Man where the alligator usually is," Rosoff said.

Sources in the Michelin Guide said that "Los Escobar de la Escobar", a take out window in Medellin, Colombia was "almost" awarded a star, but two of the guide's inspectors were kidnapped by a prep cook and a security guard  which, according to one of the sources "is not conducive to winning Michelin stars."

Part of the beauty of Moruno is that one can order from the  take out and walk 18 feet to the tables of the Farmer's Market and relish the food and enjoy the people watching.

A customer, Ralph Waxman, raved about his Moruno take out window lunch, "I had a delicious lamb sandwich, a outstanding  pork moruno, those brilliant lentils with yogurt  and I looked up and I saw Helen walk by. If that's not a lunch worthy of a Michelin star, well, than what is?"

http://morunola.com/

Deb michail A happy customer, points to moruno chef chris feldmeier

"The Theory of Dropitivity" Italy MMXV Shocker! Space Cadet Leon Gold Wins Guest Of The Year Award

If you had told me that 12-year-old Leon Gold would win the coveted 2015 GOYA (Guest of the Year Award) for our annual summer trip to Italy, I would have thought you had lost your mind. 

I have known that space cadet for something like seven, eight  years and - after giving up saying 'hello' and getting no response -  I haven't uttered a single word to him in a good five years.  

But, defying critics, the odds, logic. and even Galileo Galilei,  the 2015 GOYA goes to Leon Gold, son of Laurie Ochoa and Jonathan Gold.

Now, many of you who know me fairly well might be wondering the same thing. "Mike, are you drinking heavily again?"

Nah. And for the record, Nancy - and many others - voted for Leon, as well. Still, the reason for this report took so long to publish after we've been back from Italy - 15 days - is because some of the other contenders for this year's GOYA couldn't believe it and demanded a recount. The original count was verified and so it is official. Leon Gold wins this year's GOYA..

And part of the reason is this. Though it probably seemed a put-down in the headline and second paragraph - referring to Leon as a "space cadet" -  it turns out Leon Gold IS a space cadet. I mean someone has to be a cadet. which is, what, basically a trainee, right?. Someone has to train to be an astronaut to go into space or to be a physicist or a cosmologist and that's what Leon is. A space or physicist or cosmologist trainee. A space cadet.

Nancy and I met the Ochoa/Golds in Modena near Osteria Francescan where Nancy and I - along with Bobby Silverstein and Danielle Bernabe - had a lunch for the ages  and where Laurie Ochoa, Jonathan and Leon had dinner. As usual I didn't say a word to Leon when I saw him. ( Not that he woulda heard me as he was wearing earphones listening to a podcast about physics or some such thing )  The next day we all had a lunch in the Modena countryside and it was here Leon made his first two impressions.  One is that if you are like an Emily Post type -  ya know, all proper and full of etiquette - I don't recommend sitting across from him at a meal, This guy grabs his fork by the tines as he delves deep into a plate. And if there's a bowl of anything eatable nearby ,  you can lay pretty good odds Leon's fingers will be in that bowl. ("Just like you', Nancy would say to me.)

But, at that lunch, a paperback by American astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson at his side, he made a pronouncement that didn't really hit me until later. It was like his first scientific ruling. He pronounced the so-ca;;led "three second rule " a fallacy. "Even if your food lands on the ground for one billionth of a second, it is no good. It will pickup as many microorganisms in that one billionth of a second as it will in three seconds or in 60 seconds. The three second rule is false."

He made this profound statement as seriously as I imagine Nicolas Copernicus announced that it was the Earth that orbited the Sun, not the other way around. 

I thought about Leon's theory for, well, for about three seconds. and it made sense. 

A day later in Panicale, Umbria, where Nancy has a home, I was walking the Ochoa/Golds to the apartment they had rented from our friends Enid and Richard since they didn't know exactly where said apartment was located inside the walls of the old town. On the way there. a super car came whizzing and roaring by. and Leon yelled out "Watch out, Michael!"   Now I would have had to be about 3,000 pounds heavier for this beautiful car to be even close to hitting me, but i was kinda stunned the kid even knew my name.

At dinner that evening, Leon told Nancy that "We spend too much money on the military and not enough on the space program." Did he, Nancy asked, think there was life in outer space?  "I don't know, but we are not going to find out bombing people." 

Was this the same Leon? This fool was starting to rack up GOYA  points.

The next dinner, i was sitting next to Leon. - which is better than sitting across.- and he started talking about how he doesn't think it is good for humans to be in cell phone photos. It's good for cats, but not humans, he said.  He mentioned something about nobody in the entire Milky Way Galaxy should be in a photograph. So I went with a variation of line I occasionally go to. "Why? Do you think people in the Snickers Galaxy might find out about us?" 

Leon gave out a sort of impish grin and said. "No. But, they might in Butterfingers Galaxy." We both smiled.

At long last, someone has responded to my Snickers Galaxy line. Leon scores more GOYA points.   

A day or two later, I am bored with the adult conversation about the merits of pici and umbricelli and other various noodle configurations.and lardo and culatello di Zibello and  so I turned to Leon and told him a story.

By now,  If you watch the news at all, you know this story. Leon. apparently doesn't watch the news, and doesn't know the story, but was utterly fascinated by it. It is the recent news story of the Grizzly bear from Montana who became an astronaut and on a mission to outer space, his fellow astronaut, a human from Tennessee, died somewhat mysteriously  and the grizzly bear astronaut ended up being charged with his murder. 

I am telling you, Leon was riveted by this story. It turns out the two astronauts -  bear and human - snuck along a 12 pack of beer - which Laurie accurately chimed in was Hamms -  and the human astronaut had been hogging them, He had guzzled eight of the first 11 beers and was reaching for the 12th when a struggle ensued. In that tussle for the last beer, the grizzly bear astronaut allegedly shoved the human astronaut out of the space capsule door and into outer space where he was never heard from. When the space ship managed to land back at Cape Canaveral, the grizzly bear was arrested and charged with murder. 

This Leon kid was in pure fascination.  He asked many questions, but, at that point, that is all I knew of the story.  

Two days later, at dinner, I get "a call" on my cell. I whisper into it. Leon is listening in with much interest. "What happened?". A verdict is coming down in the grizzly bear astronaut murder case, I tell him. We should know by the time the dolci arrives.  

Forty five minutes later, as the torta della nonna is dropped, I get "the call".. 

"Not guilty. The grizzly bear was found not guilty on all counts."

Leon was thrilled by this verdict. He wants to know what happened in the trial.

"I don't have all the details but apparently there was a camera on board and it showed the human astronaut drunk and stumbling. and he trips and falls against the space ship door and he goes tumbling out. The grizzly bear tried desperately to save him, but he couldn't. They also were able to prove the grizzly bear astronaut only had three beers as only three cans were crushed like only a grizzly bear can crush a beer can. Claw marks and all." 

"Will the  grizzly bear get to go back and be an astronaut again?"

"I don't know," I told Leon. "It's kinda soon for all that. i think he just want to go back to Montana and relax. Take a nap for a couple of months. 

t was fun telling that story. And it was fun having someone enjoy it. For that, for debunking the "Three second rule" and for a somewhat feeble attempt to save my life from a speeding Lamborghini Miura,  Leon Gold with this year's GOYA

In late July, as Nancy and I were on our morning five kilometer walk. the Ochao/Gold car drives by and stops to say goodbye. Laurie is driving. I guess Jonathan can't drive and plot his dining course at the same time. Leon is in the backseat with his earphones on. Nancy says something to him, thinking maybe he will say good bye or thank us for the good time or something, anything. But, nothing . He just keeps those earphones on. Leon Gold is out there somewhere in space. 

But, the next time you drop some food, don't bother picking it up and eating it. Just step on it. Accoridng to Leon Gold's theory of dropitivity, it's already ruined. 

"We are all in the gutter ( or on the floor) but some of us are looking at the stars" - Oscar Wilde

As GOYA, Leon Gold also wins a free pizza at Mozza

RECENT PREVIOUS GOYA WINNERS

2014 - (TIE) Hourie Sahakian and Tiffany Fox

2013 - Liz "Go Go" Hong

2012 - Cast of "The Wire"

2011 - .The Berrettos (aka Oliver and his buddies) 

2010 - (TIE) Duke and Patsi

Pizzeria Mozza General Manager Arielle Chernin Forced To Leave Los Angeles

Arielle Chernin, the adorable, charming, hard-working general manager of Pizzeria Mozza - who apparently led a double life - must leave Los Angeles to avoid facing felony charges stemming from a August 1st bar room biker brawl in Echo Park that left six people injured, a spokesman for the Los Angeles County District Office said Wednesday evening. 

Chernin, who had publicly announced this week she was leaving Los Angeles and her job at the revered pizzeria to "take a management position" at a San Francisco restaurant, was given an ultimatum by District Attorney Jackie Lacey:: "Get out of town or face charges" -  for assault, malicious biting, destruction of city property, inciting a riot, and, the most serious of the offenses, HRV 21 of the California criminal code, which is the hoarding of raw vegetables during a drought.

"Normally", Lacey said. "Chernin would have been arrested, placed in county jail, given the opportunity to bail out and gone on to trial, but due to severe budget restraints and overcrowding in the jails, she was given the options of "getting out of Dodge". Based on what I know of Chernin, I think it's best for the city if she just gets the hell out." 

Nancy Silverton, Chernin's boss for several years, expressed a range of emotions when she was told of Chernin's lawless behavior. 

"I couldn't believe it at first," said Silverton when reached by email in Italy. "I mean, here is a woman who was the epitome of team Mozza spirit. She was fun. She was a leader. She had this great energy. She started the Employee of the Month award program. She was the first one blowing up balloons at parties. Then to learn she is a drunken bar fighting biter, well, I guess you never really know someone. She sure had me fooled."

Privately, Silverton expressed relief Chernin was leaving. "Mozza got hit with a $15,000 fine for using excessive water after midnight during a drought. You know who was using the water and why?  That crazy Arielle, after one of her crazy midnight runs, was using the hose in the manager's parking lot to wash her hair.  Don't print that. No one would believe it. But, think about it. Who the hell runs around Los Angeles in a skimpy outfit at midnight."

As news vans parked outside the Chernin family complex near Boston hoping to get a quote, Arielle's father Phil, drove up, ignored reporters and headed to the front door. Half-way up the porch, however, he tripped on a empty Svedka vodka bottle, remnants of a party his daughter hosted many years ago.

"Look," Phil Chernin said as he turned to address the media, "Why don't you parasites leave my family alone? We are going through a trying time."

While most of the reporters respected his wish, one did not. It was Morty Goldstein, Jr., the tenacious award-winning journalist from Los Angeles  who yelled out "Were you shocked when you heard that Arielle didn't really have a job offer in San Francisco, but was being ordered to get out of Los Angeles?"

Phil Chernin stepped toward the front door, but then shocking the hoards of media. stopped and told this story. 

"No, I wasn't shocked. I was saddened, yes, but, not shocked. I some ways I was, and you might not believe this. but i was strangely relieved.   Me and my wife, Alciia have known since Arielle was a toddler that she was a troublemaker. And we both felt it was simply a matter of time before  everyone else found out, too."

"Can you give us an example?", Godlsteien yelled out.

At this point, Phil was joined on the porch by his wife. Alicia.  Alicia spoke up

"Sadly, I can,", said Alicia. "When Arielle was in pre-school at Brookline Schools Staff Children's Center. she got into a fight with a girl named Paige ( not to be confused with Front Paige Handler ). Our little Arielle is kicking some royal ass, But, that's not enough for Arielle. A simple beat down wouldn't do. . Arielle moves in and bites Paige. Went Mike Tyson on her.  Took a piece of Pagie's ear out.  They said you could heard that girl scream all the way to New Hampshire."

"Afterward,", Phil interjected, "The girl's mother storms over hear and say "You people have raised a monster. You people have raised Arielle the Biter."

And that is how the kindly, sweet appearing Arielle Chernin became to be known as "The Biter".

Phil and Alicia. hugged briefly,  Not knowing there was a remote microphone on the porch, Alciia was heard asking Phil, "Do you think we should tell them about the time she sneaked all that vodka into the High School prom?" Phil shook his head and then addressed the media again.  "Please give us some time alone." They walked inside.

But, just then. Arielle's brother came home, and he was either a very bad walker and stumbling drunk as he zig zagged up the driveway. 

Morty Goldstien yelled out again. 

"Yo, little bro. Do you think your sister is guilty.?

"I love my sister. But, she is more guilty than O.J.  She can be ruthless." 

Keith reached into his pocket and took a pull out of a "airplane" bottle of Svedka vodka and told a disturbing story about Arielle and that very ruthlessness.

"My sister and I used to spend a lot of time at our Popo (that's grandma in Chinese) 's house. She lived on the 9th floor of this tall building so we had to take the elevator up to her apartment. We were going up the elevator one day and Arielle (maybe 12 at the time) says 'Keith, (I was around 8 at the time), I bet I can kick my leg over your head'. She was confident she could do it cause she was pretty good at gymnastics. I didn't really have time to respond before she swung her leg up in the air and kicked me smack in the face.. As my eyes were starting to tear from the shock/pain she looked at me, shrugged, and walked out of the elevator as we arrived on the 9th floor. She kicked me in the face and ;never apologized."  

Court records show that Arielle first job was a bar maid at Matt Murphy's Irish Pub, that was owned by her best friend Cierra's mom. Old school drinkers still fondly recall the site of 13-year-old Arielle working the room, two mugs of beer in one hand, a shot of Jameson in the other.

Chernin's love - and sheer athletic talent - provided an outlet for the young outlaw. Sadly, even sports couldn't outrun the evil streak Arielle possessed. 

In her second Boston Marathon, around Mile 22, she had planned to "high five" Phil, Alicia, Keith and others It was her photo moment. But, just before she arrived at the pre-planned spot for the photo, another runner ran in the way. 

"I watched in horror as my very daughter wickedly pushed that poor, old  man out of the way so she could have her photo slash high five moment," said Alicia.  (For the record, that man was Frank Shorter, who won the 1972 Gold Medal in the marathon at the Mexico City Olympics.  Shorter, now 67, has never fully recovered from that shove, which has become known as the "Arielle Push".) 

Back in Los Angeles, reaction to the news the mild-mannered one was actually a hell cat was meet with a variety of reactions. 

"I hope she gets the help she needs," said Aex Munoz, director of Operations of Mozza. "As for Mozza, It's a tremendous loss. She's the best GM I've ever had" 

Still, Munoz, who once faced criminal charges himself for - in a desperate attempt to increase Osteria sales. - putting not only waterboarding on the secret menu. but Barolo-boarding as well, felt it would be the best thing for the restaurant if Chernin left. "The restaurant simply couldn¹t support her raw carrot addiction and , like i said, i really hope she gets the help she needs"

Former Mozza GM David Rosoff concurred about the vegetables. "That little Tupperware container of raw vegetables had to be soaked in hooch."

Kate Green, Silverton's assistant, said that she really wasn't stunned to learn of Arielle's other life. "Nobody's is that perfect. I will say she is quite ambitious. I wouldn't even be surprised to find out she will be running for the Republican nod for president.  She's  half Jewish. Half Chinese, right?  I mean half of her wants to build a wall around the Gaza Strip and the other half wants to build Cantonese take out joints next to the wall."

Kirstie Brittany Lee, a Pizzeria Mozza manager who worked under Chernin, said she was not "totally stunned" by the news that Chernin was trouble.

"Your talking about a cute 20-something woman who would go running at midnight. Midnight in Los Fuckin Angeles? Please. The only people running at midnight in Los Angeles are people who either want to get hurt or want to hurt someone. Maybe that's when she would go out an bite people. They should call her the MIdnight Biter. Hey, I want to play her in the movie." 

Mozza GM Will Simons said he "never bought those sweaty midnight runs, either."

"Bull shit if that was some Marathon training shit," Simons said. "It might be some type of so-called "training", but I bet it was, was.., Ya know what?  I don't even want to say." 

Still, despite suspicions, on the job at Mozza, Chernin was on top of things. She set a record of picking up 61 napkins in a single season ( 2013) and was the staff biggest cheerleader. (In comparison, Sam Schramberg once picked up a single napkin in 2010, but dropped it when a leggy blonde walked in.)  

"Arielle was tireless," said "Front" Paige Handler, ( Not the Paige who was bit,)   "The only times she slacked off working when was when there was a cute guy at one of the bars eating. "

"Yeah," Adam Boardman concurred. "She had this unique way of seeing if the guy was interested in her.  She called it her "Man Test". Arielle would come to me and say "Watch that guy I've been talking to. I'm gonna drop a napkin and then bend over to pick it up. Let me know if he looks at my ass. If he doesn't, well charge him for all the drinks.."

So Arielle Chernin will be leaving Los Angeles and leaving Mozza soon. And while law enforcement officials are relieved she is moving out, at least one Mozza regular is sad. 

Michael Krikorian, the restaurant's unofficial chief of security,  said he would deeply miss Arielle. 

"I knew if there was ever any trouble going down at Mozza,  Arielle would be right there in the thick of things and have my back," Krikorian said.  "But, the other thing i feel kinda bad about?   All those years  I knew her, she never once bit me."

"You want some, motherfucker?"

Nancy Silverton to Massimo Bottura, Who the Hell Do You Think You Are?

UPDATE - June 14, 2016 - Editor's Note - Further proving American chef Nancy Silverton's point, last night Bottura's Osteria Francescana was named #1 on the World's 50 Best Restaurants list.

Three courses into a lunch this week at the renowned Osteria Francescana in Modena, Nancy Silverton put down her spoon after contemplatively savoring its hyper green contents, took a long sip of leggy red wine, slowly shook her head, scowled and said "Just who the hell does Massimo Bottura think he is..."

"You don't like this food, Nancy?" interrupted Danielle Bernabe, a fellow diner who clearly didn't know Siverton well.  Nancy ignored the question and continued with her thought. 

"That he can just go ahead and make food that is so much better than everybody else's.  Clearly, he has left the brotherhood of chefs. He's not a team player. I hope aspiring chefs don't taste this food. They'll give up the profession. Who the fuck does Bottura think he is?" .

That particular comment - profanity included - was broadcast on news stations throughout Western Europe and initially drew outrage toward Silverton on both traditional news outlets and social media. In addition, many food critics who have adorned Osteria Francescana with every possible restaurant accolade, criticized Silverton for being not only jealous of Bottura's talents, but crass. "Nancy Silverton is simply an American PBC", said Sir Charles Dillingsworth, food critic for the London Herald who used the acronym which means Pretty, But Crass.

But, Silverton's fellow chef cadre quickly came to her defense and stunned the restaurant world when they agreed with her assessment of Massimo Bottura.

"I'm with Nancy. Fuck that guy," said Mario Batali, the famous American chef based in New York City and partners with Silverton in the Mozza kingdom based in Los Angeles, Stalingrad, Newport Beach and Singapore. "Just because Massimo's aunt invented tortellini and his grandma invented milk and his great, great grandfather domesticated the pig, does not mean that Massimo does not have to work like the rest of us."

In San Francisco. Dominque Crenn, the impassioned chef of Atelier Crenn who shares some of Bottura's wild -if not downright hallucinogenic - imagination, weighed in..  

"Look, I don't even know Massimo, but I think he is a genius," said Crenn, whose two Michelin star restaurant in San Francisco is considered one of America's best.  "I know Lara [Gilmore, Bottura's American wife] and I am inspired by their story.  But, as for him, well, umm, well, I better not say anymore. I am French and I don't want to make Franco-Italian relations any worse than they already are."

Crenn walked away from the interview, stopped, turned around and said "But, I think Nancy is right. Nancy is always fuckin' right."

In Los Angeles, Roy Choi, L.A.'s "Takin it to the Streets" chef, said he considered Bottura a "brother", though he had not been to his restaurant. 

"I love him a a human though I've never had his food in Modena.  I can't get a reservation. Who the hell do you need to know to get a damn table at Osteria Francescana?".

Max Paul Runstedtler, professor of food history at the American University in Washington, D.C., said that Bottura was at the "classic crossroads" of his career. 

"Massimo Bottura is at that well-known intersection where he is in front of the pack. and he can choose to wait and have everyone catch up .- the few that can, at least - or he can continue on his Monza-speed path and go on increasing his lead," said Runstedtier, who was an associate producer of the documentary "Chefs Gone Wild",  "Right now, it looks like Bottura is not stopping. I had the "Sensatons" menu for lunch at OF the other day and it was well-named."

It is that very "increasing the lead" impression that is troubling for many. And those accolades are becoming problematic, as well.

Most troubling of the honors bestowed on Bottura and Osteria Francescana has been the never-before-garnered rating of 19.75 in Le Guide de L'Espresso's I Ristoranti D'Italia. The reason for the backlash of that rating is that 19.75 is - clearly - a figure greater than 19.72, a number that is dear to millions of Italians. In a February, 24, 2012 interview, just a week before he died, colorful Italian sports reporter Germano Mosconi explained the importance of 19.72.

"19.72 is the beloved number of seconds that Barletta, Italy-born sprinter Pietra Mennea took to famously win the gold medal in the 200 meters at the 1980 Moscow Olympics,"  said Mosconi, the late Telenuovo sports reporter based in Verona.  Mosconi was quiet for a few seconds, than released a torrent of expletives in ascending volume before straight out screaming "Pietra Mennea set a world record with that 19.72 and it held for over 16 years, goddamnit. For Bottura, or anyone, to mess with 19.72 is cazzo scopata!"

So will Massimo Bottura slow it down and have the other great chefs of the world catch up? If his Four-door Maserati Quattroporte is any indication, then the answer is resounding, unmuffled "No".  The Maserati sedan is normally equipped with a V-6, 410 horsepower engine. Bottura's Maser? 490 horsepower. Massimo Bottura is not slowing down at all. Floor that baby. 

(To see sports caster Germano Mosconi in action check this  -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRG2LlBfCn8