"Dangerous" Salted French Butter Is Despised By Its American Peers

Despite the fancy gold packaging with its elegant flowing script, despite the cute, raised imprint of a cow atop its bright McLaren Yellow disc, and despite the unabashed praise from Los Angeles’ finest chefs calling it the best butter available in America,  Buerre de Barrate from Rudolphe Le Meunier is not a solution.

No, this non-violently churned, fermented cream French butter from Normandy, as delicious as it tastes, is a problem.

"This butter is dangerous," says novelist Ruth Reichl, who is staying at the house I live in and is perhaps best known as the wife of former CBS News producer Michael Singer.  "With a loaf of bread, I could go through all of this butter."

As Ruth, a former newspaper restaurant critic, goes on  - she likes the unsalted more -  and on about my butter, -I'm thinking "Great. I finally get this exclusive butter and Nancy has to have a butterholic move in.  I'll probably end up having to stash this stuff in the crisper, under some celery.”

The Buerre de Baratte from Rudolphe Le Meunier came to me from the generous Josiah Citrin, chef owner of the Michelin two-star Melisse in Santa Monica.  His chef de cuisine, Ken Takayama, had told me they were now using this butter, so I emailed Josiah who promptly sent me three 250 gram discs, two of them salted.

"This is the best butter in America," Citrin said. “It has a funky umami flavor. We glaze fish and lobster with it as well as bake scallops with it. We also use it soft to brush on meats and fish before serving. The salted is for bread.”

(Note: Repeated efforts to find out what “umami flavor” actually is were unsuccessful>)

“It’s the same butter as Walter is using,” Josiah says.

Walter is Walter Manske of Republique who first told me about this butter in December. My boy Walt can talk. He started in on the Buerre de Baratte and I thought I might be here a while. Did I put enough in the La Brea Avenue parking meter?  But, then, suddenly, he handed me four  golfball-sized, plastic-wrapped salted butters.  With his wife Margarita's baguette, it was the combo.

The day before the butter arrived, Nancy, lunching at Connie and Ted’s, asked chef Michael Cimarusti, who owns the Michelin two-star Providence, about the butter. He raved, too.

“It tastes like butter is supposed to taste like,” Cimarusti says. “You know he won the MOF.”

“He” is this French cheesemonger Rudolph (aka Rudy) Le Meunier and the “MOF” is the coveted - and nearly impossible to pronounce – Un Des Meilleurs Ouvriers de France – an award given out every four years to the best craftsmen in France. (For the record, that Ruth lady pronounces it flawlessly and, I may add, rather smugly, though she does have a terrifically infectious smile when she says it.) Rudy, who won the MOF in 2007,  doesn’t actually make the butter, but, as an affineur,  gets the goods from farmers in Normandy, the seat of butter power.

Alex Brown, the general manager  and cheesemonger for Gourmet Imports in Alhambra who brings in the goods, likens Rudy to the guy who goes to the farm and selects the best peaches. Brown said that Ludo Lefebvre also get the butter for Trois Mec.

Last Saturday, while I'm in Watts writing a story about a gang battlefield turned park, (http://krikorianwrites.com/blog/2014/1/25/the-wonderful-transformation-of-kartoons-battlefield) Nancy calls to tell me the butter has arrived via Fed-Ed. The next morning we - Silverton, Singer, Reichl and myself  - try the butter, plain and salted, straight and on a toasted La Brea Bakery batard. Singer says “umm, it’s really great.”. Reichl makes the now-infamous “this butter is dangerous” comment.

But, it’s Nancy who gives it the highest honor, She takes a bite, and slowly nods five times, There’s joy among the cows of Normandy. There’s jubilation at the Rudolph Le Menuier household. The MOF committee feels justified. Nancy Silverton has just awarded the butter Five Nods. (Silverton last gave “Five Nods” to the Salty Peanut Butter gelato at Pizzeria Mozza Newport Beach.)

Me, I just eat the butter. And eat some more. I’m content.

Unfortunately, this report is not all positive.

The feeling of contentment does not reign throughout Nancy’s kitchen. Soon, dissent prevails. It’s my fault. Perhaps foolishly, but dutifully, I ask some other butters in the kitchen their thoughts.   

Donald "Four Sticks” Challenge, a butter from a Los Angeles family which dates back to 1911, said when it comes to choosing a butter, priorities matter.

"Yes Baratte is an excellent butter, but very expensive,” said Four Sticks, taking a moment to size up a nearby  English Muffin. “Booooy, I could smoother her. You feel me? Where were we? Oh, yeah. Rudy's butter. Thing is, do you want an excellent butter or do you want a good butter and be able to afford an education for your children? Me, I'm a good, solid butter, Will I get work in Alsace at "L’Auberge de L'iIl? Probably not. But, if you want to send your kids to a good college and have a good butter as well, I'm your guy.

Other butters were not so diplomatic.

"This goddamn French butter comes to Nancy's frig and it's like Bastille Day with Charles of Gaulle as the Grandmaster," said a bitter tube of Vermont Butter. "I'm mean Jesus Christ, Nancy Silverton and Ruth Reichl are acting like Escoffier himself is coming to dinner. The gang reporter actin’ like he just discovered uranium or sum shit. Look, I've won several awards for American butter, but did anybody even notice me. No."

But, what really infuriated the other butters in Nancy’s kitchen was the care I took in rewrapping Le Meunier. In an effort to keep refrigerator odors, which will leach onto a butter like Richard Sherman onto Michael Crabtree, I rewrapped the Baratte, then put the disc in a large zip-lock bag which I personally sucked sealed.  

"Nobody even considered our exposure to the elements in the ice box, " said Plugra, who calls himself “European Style”. "I’m left out here with pea shoots and leftover pork meat pizza and Zeus knows what else.  Meanwhile, the Highfalutin “cultured” butter from fancy France is wrapped up, no, swathed up like he’s the infant Jesus. And what’s with the label “cultured” butter? Like he knows Caravaggio? Culture this.”

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Check Krikorian on Twitter - @makmak47

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Buerre de Baratte from Rudolph La Meunier, which costs roughly $18-$20 a pound,   is usually available at Nicole’s Marktet in South Pasadena, http://www.nicolesgourmetfoods.com/,  DTLA Cheese in the Grand Central Market http://www.dtlacheese.com/ and Urban Radish in the Arts District downtown http://www.urban-radish.com/ On the East Coast, Formaggio Kitchen often carries this butter. http://www.formaggiokitchen.com/

Gourmet Imports is in Alhambra (626) 570-6900 http://www.gourmetimports.com

For more info about Rudy, check www.rodolphelemeunier.com

IF you understand French, check our boy out talking, I think, about butter on You Tube, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75uJKbGM6IM

EXTRAS

This report is about butter that is “available” in America.  Diane St. Clair in Orwell, Vermont makes some desirable butter at her Animal Farm, but it all goes to Thomas Keller for his French Laundry and Per Se, Barbara Lynch in Boston at No. 9 Park and Patrick O’Connell at the Inn at Little Washington.

Pim Techamuanvivt of the popular blog  "Chez Pim" makes superb butter for Manresa in Los Gatos where David Kinch rules. 

The Ferrari (or McLaren), of French butter is Bordier, but it is not available in America as it uses unpasteurized cream.

In “cultured” butter, the cream is first inoculated with micro-organisms that convert the sugars in the milk to lactic acid, then it’s churned.

TWO memorable butter quotes:

"Beurre beurre, donnez-moi du beurre, toujours du beurre" This is a famous saying of Fernand Point which means "Butter butter, give me butter, always butter."

"I alwasy give my bird a generous butter massage before I put it i the oven." -Julia Child.

Though I don't know if there's an actual quote, I know that butter plays a pivotal role in a key scene of the Marlon Brando movie "Last Tango in Paris".

For the NIGHT FINAL

As of press time, Buerre de Baratte from Rudolph Le Meunier is being held in protective custody in the closed lid section of Nancy Silverton’s refrigerator. A bodyguard, a tub of lard from Culiacan, Sinaloa, has been hired to protect the French butter from its American counterparts.  

The Wonderful Transformation of Kartoon's Battlefield

Jan, 25, 2014

Back in the '70s and '80s, when Ronald "Kartoon" Antwine got into a fight, he was the Goliath, a six-foot four, 240-pound menace to Watts with a mad-at-the world scowl on his face and a sawed-off shotgun beneath a long, black leather jacket.

He was stationed on Monitor Avenue, the Eastern front in the battle between his gang, the Bounty Hunters, headquartered in Nickerson Gardens, and their deadly rivals, the PJ Crips of Imperial Courts. Across the street from his house there on Monitor between 113th and 114th, was an acre-sized lot with weeds as tall as Kartoon. Here, gang snipers fired, trashed was dumped,  hope was discouraged and darkness reigned.  For decades, it was a symbol of the despair and abandonment of Watts.  

But, on this lovely winter Saturday morning, thanks largely to Ronald "Kartoon" Antwine's determination, that ugly plot of earth became a symbol of all the things it wasn't -  hope, play and brightness -  as the first shovelful of its dirt was overturned, the opening  salvo in the transformation of the old battleground into Monitor Avenue Park. 

"Today I make amends to you," said Kartoon, as he spoke before a crowd of 150 that included California State Senator Keven De Leon, Los Angeles City Councilman Joe Buscaino and acting General Manager of the Dept. of Parks and Recreation, Michael Shull. "I helped destroy this neighborhood. I was a gang member. I was a drug seller. But, this is my amends."

Antwine details his battles against landowners Union Pacific, his fight against having a housing tract developed on the vacant lot, and how he refused to sellout, even with the promise of riches, in his own words here,  http://krikorianwrites.com/blog/2014/1/25/ronald-kartoon-antwines-fight-for-a-park-in-his-own-words

"We were the little guy against Goliath. We were the David," he said adding that blacks and Hispanics came together, signing petitions. going to meetings and overcoming obstacles, to make this park happen. "This is not my park. This is our park."

Antwine singled out Tori Kjer of the Trust for Public Land as a tireless advocate for the park. He called her "my baby mama": their "baby" being Monitor Avenue Park, Kjer in turn credited Kartoon with doing "the fighting for the park and getting other members of the community involved in the fight."

Antwine also thanked his lifelong best friend Greg Brown for his support.  

Local residents were thrilled the long-awaited park, which is expected to open toward the end of 2014,  was finally becoming a reality

"This park will lend a little life back into this community," said Angela Johnson who has lived in Watts for 11 years.  "I think it's great because we have some real men, like Kartoon, encouraging more young people to do the right thing."

Other people spoke, the state senator De Leon, council member Buscaino, even the pastor of the Macedonia Baptist Church down 114th Street, but this was Kartoon's day.

"My mom, Ruby Joyce,  was a religious person, but one day, about 40 years ago,  she lied and said there was a dead body in this lot, just so the police would come and clean it up."  For a moment, the big, tough guy was quiet. Then he continued. " It was a long fight, but this park is really going to happen. I am hopeful my kids' kids will be playing in this park long after I'm gone. I mean that, from the cavity of my heart and the depths of my soul."

(FTRecord : I've been  knowing Kartoon about 20 years. Here's how he  got his nickname. He would be at home on Monitor,  doing homework and the neighborhood boys would pound on the door wanting him to come out and play. Embarrassed to say he was doing homework, he would tell them he was busy in watching cartoons. The spelling of "Kartoon" is with a "K" because he was from Bounty Hunters and Bloods are not fond of the letter "c".)

Kartoon with Tori Kjer from the Trust for Public Land

Ronald "Kartoon" Antwine's Fight For a Park In His Own Words

Ronald “Kartoon” Antwine is a lifelong resident of Watts who has survived the riots of 1965 and 1992 not to mention the gang warfare and Cocaine epidemic which he states added to the conditions and mentality of a forgotten community. “Kartoon” - named that because when his friends came over to play he would say he was busy watching cartoons, even though he was actually studying - has resided on Monitor Ave in Watts since 1971 after his mother had a spacious 4 bedroom 2 bath and two car garage built from the ground up.

Here are his own words and his fight for the park.

More than four decades our family has looked out our front door, stood on the porch, sat in the yard or exited a vehicle only to look less than 200 feet and see the remnants of Billionaire Slumlords. This partial of land which spreads 1.4 acres has been a blighted eye sore to this community for decades. This land was owned by Union Pacific Railroads whose tracks run adjacent to MTA's Blueline tracks which remain operational today.

Residents complaints about the illegal dumping constantly went unheard, Kartoon stated years ago weeds would grow as tall as seven feet with trash scattered throughout. Others used this plot of land as their personal landfill in the early morning hours.

After contacting Union Pacific Railroad using every means available only to be ignored. No one wanted to come out to Watts and clean up the mess on their property. Fed up, Kartoon decided to take it a step further, file a small claims case to get compensated for the flat tires of his vehicle, the excessive dust and dirt in his home, the rodents who ran rampant. It was in the small claims court he met a lawyer who was willing to take a look at his complaint. The lawyer saw the rubbish, weeds and lack of concern and not only represented Antwine, she represented all those impacted by the blight. More than 30 residents received from $17,000 to $55,000 from Union Pacific Railroad with conditions we wouldn't be able to sue in the future. Kartoon's anger frustration and perseverance made many of his neighbors smile from just their signature.

I learned that Union Pacific Railroad never had intentions of cleaning up their property, in fact we learned that the City of Los Angeles would eventually clean up the lot and charge Union Pacific Railroad $10,000 which is nothing for a multi billion dollar company.  In the mid  70's my mother complaints went unheard and through her frustration she made a frantic phone call and reported there was a dead body in the field, after police officials combed the area the city cleaned up the lot.

Years later Kartoon never knew he would continue his mother's fight. I was rolling with a true lifelong-friend Greg Brown who wanted to stop by the Watts Neighborhood Council meeting. We enter the meeting which was dimly lit, someone was doing a slide show presentation. I scanned the room to see who I was in here with when I heard the presenter say "these people don't even care about their community, they walk right outside their homes and throw trash into this field." Curious, I wanted to know what low life's did that. I looked up at the screen and their was a picture of my neighbor ours house and I knew damn well Ms. Suzie didn't live like that. There was a picture of my house followed by a picture of my other neighbor. I lost it and disruptive this presentation given by a developer Rodney Sheppard. "You're a damn lie, we have never threw trash over there, it's you mofo's from other communities who dump shyt in the middle of the night, don't be lying on us like that."

The Developer was seeking approval from the Watts Neighborhood Council to build 30 plus shotgun houses. I didn't give a damn because none of these members lived on our side of Watts. I stood my ground and stated my truth as I told the developer and WNC that NO HOUSES would be built in front of my house, we want a park, you will be met with opposition.

I learned that Union Pacific Railroad sold the partial of land after paying us pennies from their long bank account. Rodney Shepard of RSS Developement needed more approvals from the Planning, Zoning and Los Angeles City Council along with more investors to commence his project. I learned about zoning, environmental impact studies, planning commission and you better believe I attended each and every meeting along with a member from the WNC who constantly opposed the ideal of a green space and has never resided in Watts.

Every step of the way my cries were dismissed and my voice meant little which only added fuel to my fire. My out of pocket expenses increased and caused delays in him moving forward.  My organizational skills became of paramount importance and the mindset was forward forever, backwards never. I refused to give up and backing down was not an option. We were not having houses built in our community while so many were left abandoned or perhaps set ablaze for insurance money.

I went home and made flyers about the developers plans in both English and Spanish for I know many were unaware and hadn't even heard of these plans. My friend Darnell Harrell and his son Lil Darnell assisted me delivering flyers from door to door, up one street and sown another from 111th to Imperial Highway, the sweat was worth it.

Rodney Sheppard and members of the WNC heard of and witnessed me in action, to them I was a threat. They called their own meeting in an entirely different part of Watts which has never been impacted by the misuse of this land.

When My best friend Greg Brown informed me of their meeting at Rev. Popes Church at Bethel Baptist Church on 109th and Compton Ave, I became infuriated. I attended the meeting which was made up of people from outside of our community and spearheaded by the WNC. Rodney Shepards was again spreading his vicious lies during his presentation as he tried to gain support for his project. Once again I became the thunderous voice of reason with conviction as I let it be known no houses would be built and they would be met with opposition.

I met with Rev. Mason at Macedonia Baptist Church which I was a faithful member of and told him of my fight, he totally agreed that our community would benefit from have a park opposed to homes on that partial of land. I asked if we could hold a community for I he said yes. Back to my computer to make more flyers and back up and down the streets inviting neighbors to attend the meeting.

I was really surprised that many members showed up, yes, the word had spread and now it was time for action and more action. The meeting was scheduled for 6:00 PM and as usual members began arriving at 6:15 PM. Rev. Mason became the facilitator and by the end of the meeting many members were well informed as to what was going on.

Rodney Shepard, his associates and the WNC heard of our meeting and arranged a meeting in our community at Macedonia Baptist Church. I later learned that not only was Rodney Shepard scheduled to attend, our Councilwoman Janice Hahn was attending. Her and I didn't see eye to eye and she know why.
More flyers were made and distributed, this was the show down between the developers and the community they wished to build in.

I arrived at the church early and no one from the community was there.
Within minutes Rodney Shepard and his crew arrived followed by Janice Hahn and her aides. I saw them all as the enemy attempting to tell our community what their plans were instead of asking us what would would like.

Eric Brown approached me and sarcastically said "well Toon, I guess your people are not coming." As I looked into the distance approximately 50 Hispanics turned the corner headed our way. "well, Eric, I guess my people are showing up after all." Cars began to park, residents were jogging to the meeting and my heart was so full of joy.

Rodney Shepard did his presentation as members blurted out "we want a park." Janice Hahn took this moment to sell her ideals on us which appeared to fall on deaf ears. She tried to convince us that their was no money to build a park and these houses would beautify our community. When Rodney Shepard sense this was not the reaction he was seeking he stated "look, there are a lot of people in this community who want the houses" he began to unfold some papers as he stated "these are people who signed a petition for these houses, he began to read names with an attitude, as he read the names the meeting became an uproar as more and more residents jumped up calling him a liar, "I didn't sign nothing, you are lying on me.." Rodney was reading names from the sign in sheet at Bethel Baptist Church. This tactic certainly backfired on him. By the end of this meeting only one member voted for the houses and she was a cousin of Rodney Shepard.

I attended more meetings and the final meeting which was held at Los Angeles City Hall amongst the Los Angeles City Counsel. Even here one member of the WNC showed up to oppose the park. I was given 2 minutes to state my case and I felt very disrespected as I observed members of the city counsel engaged in conversations, walking around as some never even looked up to see me not to mention the ones who didn't even show up for roll call.

After I spoke Janice Hahn attempted to belittle me with her lie "oh, that's just Kartoon, a disgruntled resident, I talked to my constituents and they all want the houses built. The counsel called for the vote and I was dumbfounded as the all voted to approve the construction of houses in our community.

This became war for I would make sure these developers would meet opposition every step of the way and they would know who Kartoon was. Many mornings I would exit my home to see white men in suits taking pictures of the blighted land. I would first grab my camera and take a few shots to document their visit. I walked up to them as I ask "are you guys here for the houses, we don't want any houses we want a park, you guys will be met with opposition?" They would hurriedly get in their cars and out of our community.

Every time I heard cars on the opposite side of the street I would look out of my house to see yet another investor who gave less than a damn about our wants as a community, they were all concerned about their profit margin. There were moments when these investors would drive up as several neighbors would be standing front of my house and as we approached them one would say"you must be Kartoon?" Yes, I am Kartoon and if you're here for these houses, you and Rodney Shepard will be met with opposition, not one damn house will be built on that lot.

I learned that the investors began to pull out leaving Rodney Shepard by himself. He was merely a mouth piece making a profit off of others money.

At the onset of this David and Goliath fight I met a wonderful lady named Torrie Parks from the Trust and Public Land Office. They are resourceful in finding money to build pocket parks and green spaces.

Torrie told me Rodney Shepard was selling the land since his investors didn't want to compete with Kartoon who going nowhere soon. She told me he was trying to sell the property for much more than it was worth.

I came out of my house one morning and got into my SUV, I had just put my seatbelt on and rolled down the driver window when a black Lincoln Navigator came towards me at a high rate of speed. I watched the Navigator get in to my lane traveling the wrong direction. I really thought this was an early morning drive by, the Lincoln Navigator slammed on brakes and I found myself staring into the eyes of Rodney Shepard. He looked as though he'd been on an all night binder.

He rolled down his window and held up a piece of blank writing paper as he said "kartoon, please sign this" what I is that. It's nothing on that paper I responded. "it's a petition for the houses, these people listen to you, they see your name, they will sign, it's a lot of money in it for you and me."

At that moment if I had an ounce of respect for Rodney Shepard, it was lost. "let me tell you something, I have NEVER sold out my hood and I'm not starting now, get the fu$& from in front of my house." I said as I watched him turn the corner and fade away.

This once arrogant man found out that everyone in Watts is not a sell out. He finally succumbed to the opposition of a forgotten community and sold the partial of land to Trust and Public Land who has relinquished it to Recreation and Parks.

Developers and contractors for the park have been to our community allowing us to have input in the designs. Though other continue to come through and empty their trash in the early morning hours, I now contact Torrie Parks our angel and the clean up campaign begins. Though I am one man with one voice and one vote, I was heard. My fight generated 5.8 million dollars, monies that others thought they were going to pocket.

Our children will have a skateboard park, we will have our own walking trails, their will be weather resistant exercise machines yet more importantly we will have greenery which produce oxygen and serenity helping us all to live in harmony. Thank you Ted Watkins for saying "Don't move, improve." I thank my mother Ruby Joyce who started a fight that her first born finished......

Ground braking is scheduled for Jan 2014.

"Southside" on "Big Deals" list, $1.99 for Kindle Version 'til Super Bowl

When I first saw that Amazon had lowered the price of the Kindle "Southside" to $1.99 I was bummed. What is it, some bargain basement shit? I'm like 'fuck those motherfuckers'. I'm talking more trash than Richard Sherman on Michael Crabtree. Then, the pubic relations guy at my publisher emails me with a "Congratulations "Southside" was selected by Amazon to be part of their "Big Deals". I'm told this program gets more readers for the selected books and, somehow, that even gets more people to buy the hardback..

Oh, Okay. Like good for Amazon, They're a smart juggernaut . I take back what I ranted.

Most of my 467 Facebook friends, they've been too busy to get and read my book.  I get that. Or even too broke. I totally get that. I know sometimes $20, $25 for a book is a luxury one can hold off on. I hear a lot of "I'm going to get your book". But maybe now, with it at two bucks, the Kindle version, at least, some of them can  get what the San Francisco Book Review called "One of the top thrillers of the year."

Now, anyone reading this far, they are friends and probably already have "Southside", my first novel. So I'm asking you folks to help pump up Southside and tell your friends, even Facebook friends, that it is only two dollars and give it a shot..

In the words of Michael Connelly, "Southside has muscle, insight and all the right stuff. Krikorian is an exciting new writer who has put all his experience and wisdom to work here. ”

http://krikorianwrites.com/book/

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Matt Kuchar Tries To Explains the PGA to Nancy, Double Bogeys

A tall, lean man smiles warmly and introduces himself to me as "Matt" at the opening cocktail party on the grounds of the Mauna Lani Bay resort in Kona, Hawaii. We shake, I identify myself and begin my standard opening inquiry. "Where you from? 

Matt is from Georgia, and adds "I'm a professional golfer."  Good for him, I think. This guy is like a club pro or maybe teaches rich kids how to uses a wedge. Probably living the life, though. At that point, Nancy S comes by and I intro them, and he starts explaining to Nancy the levels of professional golf, the highest being the PGA tour which this guy Matt plays in. Hmmm, maybe the guy can play.

But, he can't convey to Nancy the elite-ness of the PGA tour. "What's your sport? Baseball? Football?" Matt asks. Nancy shakes her head. "Soccer, then?" No. He switches gears, knowing Nancy is a chef. "I'm Ukrainian. My last name is Kuchar. That means "cook" in Ukranian."

This guy is Matt Kuchar one of the best, most popular golfers in America. Later, when I text a photo of me and my boy Matt Kuchar together, to Matt Molina, a golfer and chef, he emails back "Koooooooooouch!" . Matt Kuchar is so loved he has that Looooooooou Pinellla, BRuuuuuuuuuuuuuce Springsteen thing going on.   

Turns out Matt and his wife Sybi have heard often of Mozza. as his former agent Andy Kipper (I think)  was a regular when he lived in Los Angeles. We chat about a few things including Georgia, (the state)  which is also where Sybi is from.  I use most of my Georgia knowledge up by saying "Augusta National. The Masters."

And that's the thing that gets me right there. Matt Kuchar came in 3rd place in the 2012 masters. He was even tied for the lead on the back nine in the fourth round. But, when I bought up the Masters, he didn't say a word, Sybi and Matt just briefly glance at each other and smiled. Cool, Georgia style.

Matt Kuchar in Kona.

Chef Michael Voltaggio Brutally Attacked by Sea Urchin

Chef Michael Voltaggio was jumping off volcanic rocks Sunday afternoon in Kona when he was viciously attacked by one of Hawaii's most notorious sea urchins who embedded 17 needles in the chef's right leg.

Despite nearly hysterical pleas from a local woman that he be transported to the emergency room of Kona Community Hospital, Voltaggio gallantly "manned-up", shrugged off the pain, limped into a kitchen and finished dessert - oven-roasted pineapples with Haagen Daz Vanilla - for a group of friends and fellow chefs including Jonathan Waxman, Dahlia Narvaez and Nancy Silverton who were in Kona for a James Beard Celebrity Chef food event. 

Voltaggio, who won the "Top Chef" competition in 2009,  had been with several people including Mauna Lani Bay chef Allen Hess, Barcadi head mixologist Manny Hinojosa and champion paddler Grace Emanuel who were climbing rocks and jumping into the ocean after a leisurely lunch. Voltaggio went off by himself and was climbing to a dizzyingly height when he was attacked by the sea urchin. who is apparently known locally as "Lurch the Urch". The chef, who owns Ink on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles, pulled out the 17 stickers.

"Lurch the Urch is the meanest sea urchin I have ever known," said a local man speaking on the condition of anonymity for fear of retribution "Lurch has attacked at least a dozen humans and probably 45, 50 mahi-mahi that I know of."

A woman said the sea urchin had one goal in mind when he attacked Voltaggio; homicide.

"That sea urchin wanted to kill him, so other humans will hear about it and leave sea urchins alone," said Sara Kutler, a Bel Air resident who lives in Hawaii part-time and has herself been bite by sea urchins four times. "Why else do you think the sea urchin attacked him but to kill him? It is about protecting their own species"

Kutler, who was once hospitalized for several days due to a sea urchin attack, passionately urged Voltaggio to pour human urine over the leg wound because, she said, pee was the only remedy. But, Voltaggio was adamantly against being peed on. When his girlfriend, documentarian Jamie Schribner, suggested he go outside and pee on himself, Voltaggio replied, "I'll piss on my leg when you shit on your arm." She declined the offer.

Still, the pleas continued and Voltaggio while attempting to soak the wounded leg and knee in white wine vinegar, a mysterious warm bottle of Perrier appeared and a man poured it over Voltaggio's leg.

"What is that?," said Voltaggio. "What is that? It's warm. That shit is warm. Is that piss?"

While the pouring man walked away. Voltaggio spotted Nancy Silverton seated nearby and asked her "Is it your pee, Nancy? Is it? If it is, then it's good. If it's anyone else's, then we've got a problem." 

To Voltaggio's surprise,  and to the delight of his friends,  the wound seemed to improve after the mystery pee was applied.  But,  less than an hour later, the pain was back. As of early morning Monday, it was uncertain if Voltaggio would seek medical attention.

Voltaggio, who has several tattoos, listened with interest when Nancy proposed a solution to hide the marks left by the attack.

"Get a new tattoo. Get one of a sea urchin right over where he bite you."

*Note - The latest menu of Ink online does not list anything with sea urchin  Expect that to change.   

Chef Michael Voltaggio after a brutal attack

Before the attack, Voltaggio hanging loose, Silverton telling a photographer to fuck off.

Mozza Gelato Wars; Dahlia Narvaez Vows to Retake #1 Ranking

After hearing the salty peanut butter gelato at Pizzeria Mozza Newport Beach had been ranked number one in the World Gelato Ratings (WGR), Mozza head pastry chef Dahlia Narvaez vowed to reclaim the top position for the flagship in Hollywood South.

"Dahlia is answering the challenge," said Mozza owner Nancy Silverton, who helped the Newport restaurant capture the top rating when she gave the salty peanut butter gelato the nearly mythical "Five Nancy Nods" during a recent lunch. 

Sources say Narvaez, a James Beard Award finalist, will be turbocharging her entry for the upcoming WGR Olympics.  She will not be making salty peanut butter gelato,  but rather salty chocolate peanut butter gelato.

Narvaez and Silverton flew to Hawaii to sample several salts that could help the storied Hollywood South restaurant recapture the  #1 spot in the WGR. Among the salts sampled were "Kona Gold" and "Maui Wowie!". Though some Hawaiian insiders questioned the purity of those particular salt, no one denying they were getting plenty of "nods" from Nancy in test runs.

Other obstacles have arisen as well. Henry Weinstein, legal analyst for Krikorian Writes, said the addition of chocolate to the peanut butter, would not constitute a violation of WGR rules, but could "border on sensory overload and might backfire."

Let the  gelato wars begin.

Secret meeting was held in Kona, Hawaii to retake #1 spot in World Gelato Ratings

SOUTHSIDE, "Dark Graphic Urban Thriller" - Genre Go Round

SOUTHSIDE REVIEW - L.A. Times reporter Michael Lyons works the street beat with his prime focus on members of gangs as he has the uncanny ability to put a human face on these seemingly interchangeable dangerous miscreants. Near his office, Michael stops at his favorite haunt the Redwood Saloon where affectionately he is known as “Hit’n’Run” for his frequent quickies. However, this time when he leaves the bar in daylight, someone shoots Lyons.
 

While he recovers from his wound, his journalist peers form a pool as to whom the trigger is and why. LAPD fails to find the culprit while the L.A. Times editorials rip the cops for incompetency and complacency until the police release a tape in which Michael eloquently explains the truth of being shot to a gang-member. While the shooter begins targeting other victims including the younger brother of incarcerated gangbanger Big Evil, a fired Lyons starts an investigation in the grim impoverished Southside.
Those who live on the means streets of LA own this dark graphic urban thriller; as the investigation highlights their grim existence. Fast-paced throughout, readers will appreciate entering the Lyons’ Den; escorted not by the late great New York columnist Leonard Lyons, but by a disgraced Los Angeles reporter working the gang circuit.

- Reviewed by Harriet Klausner

Homicide Detective Megan Tropea appears in Southside ,  

Quaint Names For 'Hoods, But It's Still South Central To Me

Chesterfield Square, Vermont Knolls, Green Meadows, Harvard Park, Vermont Vista, Athens, Manchester Square, Gramercy Park, Watts.These are the  Los Angeles neighborhoods with the highest crime rates. Except Watts, which has a world-wide rep, they sound like idyllic places in Olde England. But to me - and to most of the residents who live there  -  they are still  - and always will be - South Central.

Seeking to distance the city from the riotous reputation  "South Central" earned in 1992 and from rap songs,  the city voted in April, 2003 to officially ban the name.  The following is from a Los Angeles Times article that appeared January 5, 2004 

"Green Meadows or Asphalt Jungle"

The sign overlooking Central Avenue and 99th Street in Watts declares the neighborhood "Century Cove," although the nearest cove is 15 miles away in San Pedro.

Over on Manchester Avenue and Main Street in South Los Angeles, a sign welcomes visitors to "Green Meadows," although the only green in sight is the paint on a transmission repair shop.

And at 78th Street and Normandie Avenue, three blocks from where the 1992 riots started, the area is proclaimed "Canterbury Knolls," a puzzle to some.

The idea behind Los Angeles' neighborhood names has been to try to give small areas a dose of charm and community identity, no matter how incongruous the monikers. But the naming has gotten a little out of control, some say, because getting city permission is too easy.

Councilwoman Janice Hahn, who represents  Watts, said the names help residents feel as if they're living in a town, not an expanse of asphalt in a sprawling city.

"I think most neighborhoods want to have this small-town feel about them, and I think the naming of the community makes them feel better," she said. "It gives them a sense of identity, and that's a good thing."

But some of the names are scarcely known even to residents.

"What Knolls?" asked Vince Avery, a freelance photographer who lives within sight of the sign. "When you go to a real neighborhood, like Hollywood, you know you're in Hollywood. But nobody knows Canterbury Hills -- I mean, Canterbury Knolls. Nobody in Canterbury Knolls knows they're in Canterbury Knolls."

If the names are meaningless, some say, it's because too little oversight is involved in bestowing them. The process for getting a neighborhood name is simple: A group of residents, sometimes members of a neighborhood council, ask their council member to christen an area with a new title. The council member has only to ask the city Department of Transportation to put up a sign.

That, says Greg Nelson, general manager of Los Angeles' Neighborhood Development Department, is too unstructured.

"This issue is alive and ticking," Nelson said. "We need a real policy for naming neighborhoods."

Hahn does not disagree, and work is underway to change the procedure. This month or next, she said, the subject will come before the city's Education and Neighborhoods Committee, which she heads.

"We are going to have a formal motion in committee to create a citywide process.... Eventually, the name change would need to be approved by the City Council."

But Hahn said she strongly favors neighborhood names.

"The reason for all the names is to give neighborhoods an identity and distance themselves from the crime-ridden image and stigma of South-Central Los Angeles."

In fact, in April, the City Council voted unanimously to change the term South-Central Los Angeles to South Los Angeles.

Many of the names were suggested in 2001 by the 8th District Empowerment Congress, an advisory committee of residents, business leaders and neighborhood activists headed by then-Councilman Mark Ridley-Thomas.

"A lot of the names are the historic name of the tract, such as Green Meadows," said Ridley-Thomas, now a state assemblyman. "The empowerment congress set about the task of naming neighborhoods for the purpose of reclaiming their historical identity."

South L.A. Councilwoman Jan Perry said that sometimes the names can make "the history of the district more alive."

For example, the neighborhood west of the Harbor Freeway and south of Imperial Highway recently was officially dubbed "Athens on the Hill," although "the residents of that neighborhood have been calling it that a long time," Hahn said. "There's a legend there used to be a Greek community there, but we could never find a historian to verify it one way or another. So the residents wanted to formalize an urban legend."

Some officials said that distancing a neighborhood from the greater label of South Los Angeles also could have an economic benefit.

"Historically an area that is named will have a greater value in real estate than one that isn't," said Greg Fisher, a Perry deputy.

Some remain skeptical.

"OK, say I tell someone I live in Canterbury Knolls," said Ray Lockett, a car detailer who lives in the area. "They gonna say, 'Where's Canterbury Knolls?' And I'm gonna say, '78th and Normandie.' "

http://articles.latimes.com/print/2004/jan/05/local/me-hoodnames5