BREAKING NEWS ANTHONY BOURDAIN & JONATHAN GOLD TO OPEN RESTAURANT TOGETHER IN HEAVEN

In an astounding joint statement that sent the four winds howling from the summit of Mount Olympus through Valhalla and to the very pearled gates of Paradise, Jonathan Gold and Anthony Bourdain announced Friday they would open a restaurant together in Heaven.

"It's in the early planning stages, but the working name is Tony Gold's," Bourdain told mythical Mozza beat reporter Morty Goldstein, Sr. during drinks at Jilly's Saloon. "We both thought Jonathan Bourdain's sounded too fancy."

Gold confirmed the report to the Mozza Tribune and added the place would sit 56,000, just like his cherished Dodger Stadium.  

"The seats will be much nicer than those at the Stadium and the parking lot will be vastly improved with food trucks scattered about," Gold said. "Tony and I have already contacted Enzo Ferrari about handling valet and he actually hired Fangio, Senna and Jim Clark earlier today. It's on.".

As for the food, it will most certainly be worldly. Gold and Bourdain have already talked to a few chefs including, according to sources,  French legends Auguste Escoffier and Fernand Point as well as Juan "Queso" Guzman, the storied East Culiacan-born inventor of the quesadilla. 

Eater Heaven obtained a portion of the interview Goldstein, Sr. did with the two recently arrived North Americans and some of it is published below.  The piece - which will run this Sunday in the Watts Times - is more a conversation between Gold and Bourdain, with Goldstein - wisely - staying mostly quite other than the occasional 'pop' of a shot glass being smashed onto the Jilly's bar top. The audio begins with Jonathan Gold ordering drinks.

Gold – We’ll have the Nebuchadnezzar of 356 B.C. Cheval Blanc.

Bourdain – In shot glasses. Forget those goblets.   

(Sound of wine being opened and poured.)

Bourdain - The 356 B..C. is a great vintage.

Gold - Alexander's birth year.

.They sip.

Bourdain - So, well, how'd you get here, J Gold?

Gold - "Ram."

Bourdain - Really? Sounds uncomfortable.

Gold - Not the animal, Bourdain.   My truck. The Dodge Ram.

Bourdain - Sweet

(A few shot glasses hit the bar top.)

Bourdain - Man, I was shocked and saddened to hear about you.

Gold - As was I you.

Bourdain - But man, the outpouring. The sendoff. Was beautiful, brother. I was watching it on the Big Screen at Perino's.

Gold - Perino's has a big screen?

Bourdain - They brought it in for you.   Last time was Ali-Frazier. The Thrilla in Manila. . Anyway, I was watching, and they had on "live" Ruth and Nancy staying up til dawn’s early light in Umbria talking about you.  Was beautiful.

Gold – I’m a fortunate man to have friends like that.

Bourdain - And Ruth's story. That kicker.  I don't even want to repeat it.

Gold - Don't.

Bourdain - I won't. But, let me ask you something about Nancy and Ruth. They're beautiful. Successful. Kindhearted.  They got it all. But, only one thing makes me wonder about them, especially about Nancy..

Gold - What?

Bourdain -   Nancy's boyfriend. What are they doing with that guy?   Half the time he's going on about the Nickersons, Grape Street, the 60s.

Gold - Ah, Krikorian, he ain't as hard as he lets on. In fact, something rough happen to Laurie and the kids?  Hell, Krikorian, he'd be there in the first wave.

Bourdain - That's comforting.

(The glasses hit the bar top)

Gold – You know, I’m from Rollin’ 60s.  Grew up on 63rd Street.  My ‘hood just about invented the drive-by.

Bourdain – Hmmp. I always associated you more with drive-ins.

They both laugh.  

Bourdain - I got another question for you.  That friend of yours, Margy.  What's up with that slow dance thing of hers?

Gold (laughs) - She was just making the kids and Laurie and me us feel not so down in the room. 

Bourdain - She's not exactly Ginger Rogers.

Gold - Hey, speaking of Ginger, you seen Fred up here?

Bourdain - Last night.  He was dancing and singing “Cheek to Cheek”.  Man, when you hear that opening line up here? Whoa.

Gold – Hey, Anthony, at our restaurant we should have Fred give dance lessons. Like on Friday at happy hour.

Bourdain – I love it. Fred Fridays.

(Shot glasses hit the bar top.)

Bourdain – We’ll probably need a mascot.

Just then, a sweet-looking golden retriever rescue - with rear legs that appear to be made completely of two whole prosciutto di Parma - ambles nearby. Gold stares.

Gold - Zeke? Hey, Zeke! When did you get here?

Zeke -Tuesday. Eh yo, I was at your birthday party Saturday.  Burgers were great! Nabbed me seven.

Bourdain - That’s the dog who stole my cheeseburger the one time I was at a Nancy’s backyard barbecue.

Gold - That claim hardly puts you in an elite unit.  He’ll be working the room

They clink glasses.

Gold - We'll need a sommelier  or two, right TB?

Bourdain - Right, JG.  Hey, how about that kid used to somm at Mozza?  Used to work "The First Supper" up here before he got canned. He knew his grapes.

Gold - Jeremiah Henderson.. Good idea.  

Bourdain -   So it’s Tony Gold’s

Gold - Tony Gold’s it is..

Glasses clink.

Bourdain – And next month when you do the 101 Best Restaurants in Heaven you can rate it #1 and do that disclaimer you do for Nancy and the Mozza Corner.

Glasses clink.

Bourdain – So, Gold, where exactly up here do you think we should locate our restaurant?

Gold – Come on, Bourdain.   They gotta have a Pico Boulevard up here.

- 30

"Heaven, I'm in heaven  

And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;  

And I seem to find the happiness I seek

When we're out together and dancing cheek to cheek   - Cole Porter

BREAKING UPDATE - The Great One, Joel Robuchon,  will command the kitchen at Tony Gold's. 

on the fabled road to pellicano