ER NURSES WHO CARED FOR MICHAEL SINGER AT BERKSHIRE MEDICAL CENTER REQUEST TRANSFER TO ALEPPO HOSPITAL

Late into the night at the Berkshire Medical Center in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, an emergency room nurse erased the last five letters of a patient’s name on the clipboard hanging from the entrance to his room. The erasure left only a single “S”. .The nurse then tip-toed back into the hallway, checked to see if anyone was coming, went back to the clipboard and added some letters. She added an “A” in front of the “S”, peeked back to check the hallway again and then, with a shaking hand, added three more letters after that those two.

When the daytime nurse Julia Milholland arrived for her shift, she was perplexed to see the new name on the clipboard.

“Hey, Layla,” she called out to the nurse-in-charge, “Did Mike discharge? Or did he get moved to a different ward?”

Layla Raqqa didn’t even bother to look up from her computer and simply said “No, Cranky is still there.”

“I read few years back Singer had his crankiness surgically removed,” Nurse Julia said.

“Don’t believe everything you read,” Layla replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Well,” said Julia, “The name on the clipboard outside his front door says “Assad”.

Gwen burst into laughter. “Hmmf.. Maybe Hafez, the old man. The kid, Bashar, wouldn’t be as ornery as Singer.”

That was last Saturday morning a few days after Michael Singer. the legendary investigative news producer had been admitted to a hospital for a seared kidney (without a ‘78 La Tache). To say he had not been the most pleasant of patients would be like saying 2020 has been a rough flu season.

At least nine personnel, including five nurses, demanded they be transferred to other hospitals. Four of them said they would prefer to be at Aleppo’s notorious Community Hospital rather than have to deal with Singer.

“Okay, Aleppo is the world’s most dangerous place, I get that,” said RN Mary Wilson, “But, least people there don’t call me an quote, unquote, ‘You butterhole idiot’ How does Ruth Reichl put up with him? I love Ruth, but it kinda makes me wonder about her. And their kid seems like he has no grumpy at all.”

Silas Moranavich, a prominent New England word examiner, said Singer broke several records during his time at Berkshire MC including saying the word “incompetent” 54 times, uttering’ “dumb ass” 46 times, and evoking Jesus Christ more than 100 times in a single evening, including 14 “Jesus Christ, you’re an idiot” and 13 “Jesus Christ, who the fuck told you to become a nurse?”

Singer was released from the hospital last week and is said to be doing much better and his grumpiness levels have dropped from the 97-100 range to below 30 Normal range is 0-15.