MOLD FOUND IN RENOWNED ROQUEFORT CHEESEMAKER'S CAVES; OUTRAGED CUSTOMERS, FOODIDIOTS DEMAND EXPLANATION

In the most shocking news to strike the food world during this bewildering pandemic, a food blogger in Bahrain broke the news on Shwitter that a renowned Roquefort cheesemaker has been selling his product to the public even though the bleu cheese had been in close, perhaps even intimate contact with mold.

Gabriel Coullet, for decades considered one of France’s greatest producers of Roquefort cheese, admitted Thursday that a saprotrophic fungus known as penicillium roquefort has had what he called “an oh la la relationship with my sheep’s milk cheese since before, during and after the Battle of Verdun.”

“Let’s just say the sheep milk and the mold have a thang goin’ on,” Coullet told the media assembled at a cave in Roquefort-Sur-Soulzon. Coullet sang the last three words as if he were Billy Paul cooing “Me and Mrs. Jones”.

More than 35 people worldwide - many in Los Angeles - had fecal fits about the mold contacting the cheese and it made headlines in once-important newspapers. Coullet however blew it off as the reaction of foodidiots with nothing to do. “I didn’t realize eating it could cause American foodidiots, already a bunch of merde creamers, to suddenly think they were Woodward and Bernstein by making; a big deal of it. Get a life.”

A story about a Los Angeles restaurant that may have had mold on jam was the most prominently displayed story Wednesday on the Los Angeles Times website . The four homicides in Watts during the first week of July - including two girls, ages 6 and 4 - did not get a mention in the same Times site. Pathetic.